a vida é rabiscar os dias

When I was younger, I used to believe it all would really make sense when I became an adult. And now here I am and all I can guess is that the destruction of myself is this day by day growth. Growing up is growing pains. It's growing wishes and frustrations; responsabilities, this physical and mental tiredness. It's watching people grow apart and grow yourself apart from others and from your own. Growing is dealing with the growth of crowd and the growth of emptiness. All the things you gotta do grow along with you and also does your fatigue and your desire of free time and the little free time you get is to be spent thinking about how you were supposed to be doing something else instead of complaining about the growth of everything. Sometimes I feel like I'm kinda like portuguese people who live in the past because it all seemed so bright in there (even though when the past was the present time it didn't sound that beautiful to me). We find despicable ways to...

So, for today, for tolife, i quit. I quit cause i'm tired. Tired of being alone 'cause i do not fit. Tired of calling my surname off 'cause i just dont belong and of being part of something i dont even know what it is and how is it supposed to function and what's the meaning of everything that nobody has a clue but still we are working on shit we don't get neither the answers nor at least the right questions. I give in because my Body has always told me i couldnt handle it. Cause it bleeds every month trying to make me understand He is suffering along with me. And showing how it hurts. How all this red colour we have to swallow on each lipstick marketing or food advertisment or even love or the concept of it, is actually the colour of death. Just like it is. Raw as it should be. The deformation of being dead seems way more shaped than life itself. And that's why, even though not all the whys, i quit. And it's my political act. It's myself tellin...